You don't find love...it finds you

Heeeeey,

Dreams have always been an important thing to me. Something to have, something to hold on to and something to look forward to. I’ve never thought any dream is too big. They’ve always been somewhat of a comfort to me that there is hope. 

When I started 2014 I wrote down 10 dreams and aspirations to achieve throughout the year. For literally the first year since I can remember, I didn’t set one to find a boyfriend and fall in love. I decided this really isn’t something you can make happen, it’s not something to work towards, so I left that in the hands of fate - and boy did it deliver.

“Don’t give up usually it’s the last key on the ring that opens the door”

I have always been a true believer of fate, I’m happy for fate to put me in the right place at the right time and allow me to learn and enjoy life to it’s full potential. 

When I was packing for Crete all those months ago, I could only joke I was off to find a boyfriend. I really do believe me and Sam were sent to Crete to meet each other. If living on different sides on the country isn’t proof enough, I don’t think our paths could have crossed any other way. It wasn’t smooth running and there were a few people standing in our way. If anything, how far we’ve come is testament to those that said horrible things, accused me of all sorts and said it wouldn’t last. Unfortunately life is full of bitter people and not everyone will be happy for you. 

“The best things in life are worth the wait”

I’ve never met any one who can make me laugh every minute of every day, who can control my princess moments, not only appreciates my craziness but joins in too and is just generally so scarily similar to me. 

Which brings me to now, and my northern gem is trying out southern life. Upon arrival he was greeted with a present of wellies and a farmers weekly magazine! I mean what more could a city boy need jumping feet first into country life. 

He’s met Nixon, and is making progress and even steps foot inside the field now, as well as being very willing to climb the muck heap. 

It’s strange being home with someone who everything is new to. It’s nice to appreciate village life and all the beautiful places that surround me and rediscover it all again for myself. 

So this is it, the start of the rest of our lives and I'm sure we will have a story or two to share along the way.

Gemma xx

Time is now...

Time is a funny thing. I think many people are scared of it in various ways. Scared it will go too quickly, scared it will run out, scared it won't go as quickly as they hope. I'm extremely impatient so much of my life is focused around time. I'm learning to be better, to take things as they come and to enjoy the moment - but what I've learnt most of all, is that it is precious. As my boyfriend likes to remind me 'time is the most precious commodity we have - we can never get it back'. People are worried not to rush, not to be too quick, not to make a mistake, but the trouble is these people think they have time.

For those avid followers of my blog you will know that especially in the last year I've been doing lots of firsts to overcome my anxiety. I've done more than I could ever have imagined I could achieve from last year. I'm thinking of what to do next - ideas welcome!

When was the last time you did something for the first time? 

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Time is not wasteful

time is unstoppable

time is learning

time is balance

time is getting old

time is healing

time is happiness

time is love

time is being on time

time is the future and how you will spend it

time is not waiting around, waiting for things to happen to you

time is going out and making them happen

time is being selfish

time is being selfless

time is doing everything you've always wanted, before it's too late
time is now.

Gemma xx

Aeroplane thoughts...Crete 2014

Heeeey,

The bubble has popped! As I fly home from crete 3 months earlier than I had previous intended what better time to reflect and write this post. Not only to pass the painfully slow time it's taking to get home, but also while everything is so fresh to me. I think aeroplanes are a great place for reflecting and thinking. Many a thought or plan must be made on board. Travelling to new places, for whatever reason, really emphasises on a new experience and a step away from every day life. 

As you know, I set off to experience rep life abroad. A task completely out of my comfort zone and a very big adventure. Thinking back, there really is no one place I can even start, what a journey it has been. 

I have learnt so much about myself and how well I can cope, which is a new found confidence I will take forward with me. Anxiety really can't stand in my way now, I feel like I've done it all, what can be more scary than moving abroad alone. 

One big lesson I found is that you don't have to change for anyone. I have truly been me this whole journey and you soon see through those that put on a front. People like honesty, and why would you try to impress people by not being you? 

I have truly met some amazing friends along the way, who I will no doubt see again as well as bagging myself a lovely boyfriend- who is one of the most caring people I know. I was hoping to meet some nice people along the way, but I wouldn't change these people that I have shared this experience with, for the world. You know who you are and I want to thank you for everything and for being truly wonderful. I will never forget my gouves family and all the times we shared together, most of which in rainbow bar with George. 

It's been an emotional roller coaster. I've been up, I've been down, I've been sad, I've been the happiest I've ever been in my life and more recently I've been absolutely exhausted. So exhausted I ended up in hospital. I know, I know classic Gemma style - this stuff could only happen to me! Happy to say I'm ok, but looking forward to getting back home and back to full health and to feel myself again. The gym is definitely calling my name after all the saganaki and milkshakes I have consumed. 

In some ways this has been the toughest 3 months of my life. It's not once been relaxing, but I feel like I really have experienced everything that I was sent here for. Some might say its a shame it didn't work out, well what didn't work out? I'm going home with some lifelong memories, lessons, soulmate and friends. I've developed as a person and I've learnt that you can never make everyone happy, and that is totally ok. I've learnt there are lovely people out there that want the best for you whether you've known them 30 years or 3 months. 

Although I've shed a few tears on this journey home at leaving such an amazing experience behind, my heart now belongs back in England and I'm ready to see where life takes me next. Expect plenty more blogs, lots more photographs and my life discoveries along the way. 

Now excuse me while I catch up on 3 months worth of rest and sleep.

Gemma xx